Absolutely none of this happened to me, ok?

  1. Start blog, write first post, saying ‘Hello!’, and outline all the delights to come.
  2. Play with widgets, format etc. change the header colour again. Check stats, no visitors yet.
  3. Write a few more posts, on subjects close to your heart, that people are sure to love. Check stats-any visitors yet?
  4. Tell family and friends about your blog, surely they’ll visit?
  5. Check stats - your first visitor!
  6. Delete first spam comment, write some more posts, maybe a change of template will help.
  7. Insert ‘Adsense’ - wow, the money’s going to flow in now! Check stats.
  8. Spend an evening visiting 349 other blogs, commenting on each one, even though you think their kids are ugly, their poetry’s awful, and some of the templates gave you a migraine. Check stats.
  9. Some visitors! Some comments! Maybe their poetry wasn’t that bad after all….. Check adsense stats - still $0, must be stuck.
  10. Your first incoming link! Weirdly, it’s from a blog that appears to have completely reproduced your post in full - perhaps they really liked it? Check stats.
  11. Haven’t seen your family for a week, hygiene is a distant memory, but you’re still writing posts, visitor levels are in double figures, and that odd Canadian lady is visiting every day. Success is assured, as your first $0.05 is registered with adsense.
  12. Wrists hurt, eyes strained, you have your first ‘Google Dream’ - you wake up to a crushing sense of disappointment when you realise that your blog isn’t a Page Rank 6. Perhaps checking your stats will make you feel better…
  13. Discover WordPress plugins - lose days doing nothing but installing plugins, and then blogging about their features.
  14. “I know! I’ll start another blog! But first, I’ll just check my visitor stats…..”

It’s a terminal case…

Don’t deny it, you’ve been there :-)